Another thing that seems to inspire the utmost hatred of almost every TRUE PuNxRocKEr is whether or not if NOFX should be hated as much as they are. NOFX hate is stupid. Arguments pop up all the time about how Fat Mike is a like a 14 year old who's sole purpose on Earth is to pander to 14 year old boys and how much NOFX defines suckage in it's purest form. The band has been going since '83 and by a technicality can't really be put under the "American Hardcore" umbrella term reserved for 14 year old boys who hated school and Reagan and most importantly, every single thing that had authority over them (teachers, principals, cops and their parents). These young whippersnappers picked up a guitar and let their angst ooze out like cum from a freshly fucked vagina...This was hardcore.
They missed the movement that is so loved by journalists and hipsters alike by a year (or maybe two), but they would become important in thee early-mid 90s when "punk revival", this sort of watered down, generic take off of punk rock that sprouted up when people got sick of flannels, cut their hair and got happier(?)...They wanted something brighter, a bit more sunshine-y, but still edgy enough for the masses to feel some minute passing feeling of rebellion. Some record label executive somewhere saw the perfect opportunity to repackage the basic formula of three chords and puberty to resell to the masses as "Punk FUCKING Rock". This new punk rock wasn't as angry, or maybe the anger was just directed at pimples, boners and growing up(?)...Punk rock was now officially safe for mom.
NOFX stands as both one of the forerunners and as a band of this movement to still have relevance today is saying a whole lot. How many punk bands from the 80s are still going? Better question, how many have been consistently going? Not many. It's safe to say NOFX did something right...
There will always be 14 year old boys and there will always be NOFX, at least until Fat Mike dies of a BDSM accident or tainted vegetables. This formula made them rich(?) and somewhat famous in certain circles, so why must we hate on them all the time? They're like Stormfront.org in that A.) You shouldn't be reading it and B.) It's genuinely funny as fuck at times...Also kinda like Rush Limbaugh...Maybe bad comparisons, but they're mine.
If you hadn't gathered by now, I like the band. I'm not a huge fan by any stretch, but I can't go wrong with them on a bored Sunday afternoon sitting on the grass smoking grass and publicly masturbating...There it is! NOFX is for boys who just learned to play with their dicks and every year a new crop of boys starts playing with their dicks and discovers NOFX. They're like the older brother of Blink 182 that showed them how to masturbate before they started rebelling and listening to too much of The Cure. NOFX is the greatest of the gateway bands. Before you hate one them next time, remember if it hadn't been for NOFX training your palette, you probably wouldn't have been able to step it up to Crusty D-beat Powerviolence Polkacore crossover, which can kind of taste like rancid habenero dipped in Iranian dirt hooker pussy.
NOFX made some hardcore punk then some crossover thrash before they came to their current sound. You know, the sound that made them punk celebrities? The NOFX you all know. I really get sick of everyone discounting Maximum Rock N Roll, S&M Airlines and Liberal Animation because NOFX. And when they do bring it up, they somehow only seem to cling onto the band hating and writing songs against vegetarians then becoming vegans...Which will always the bane of every new Crass fans' existence. It's pointless and it's stupid, as is life, but I'm not talking about that. The greater issue is hypocrisy and how it's hypocritical to be a reactionary teenager and then grow up to embrace new ideas. Life itself is a never ending series of hypocrisies by that Crasshole logic. They can't seem to say anything new other than "Fuck NOFX" And it's a debate full of emptiness.
We should bring up the bands strongly left leaning politics. Punk is itself, extremely left wing. I didn't even need to say that because you all know it is. Everyone is a lefty except for one of the dead Ramones (all of them yet?), Michale Graves and Skrewdriver protégées by punk logic. A very stupid logic that never seems to grow up until they have kids and join the "real world". Fat Mike is the 14 year old equivalent to Jello Biafra in that his politics have never seemed to grow past "how we're all fucked cause this dude" exposition. I'd be lying if I didn't agree at least a little bit, but at the same time, I don't like being told what to do. If you don't remember the Punkvoter and Rock Against Bush failures, let me refresh you...
Bush = Bad, Kerry = "Good"...That's all that needs to be stated. It was another platform not to get young people to vote, but to vote for their guy. Essentially that was the fundamental flaw with it. I was suddenly being told who to vote for and as a consequence, I voted Bush, because punk rock (Just kidding, I was too young to vote). In retrospect, it made him look like an ass and he doesn't really compose himself any better than that in interviews. He comes off as an ass. An asshole. I'm not going to judge his intelligence, but politics is not his forte. Give me songs about lesbians and deviant sex, not politcal mumbo jumbo. If anything good came out of it, it inspired some to get more involved and criticism aside, isn't that going to be beneficial in the long run? Probably not, but fuck it. Who really jumps on bandwagons? Wait...
So, some of the critiicisms are entirely valid, but what is my point? Basically, my point is: YOU WEREN'T TOO COOL FOR NOFX THEN! Yes, you probably liked them when you were 14. And I still do. Because I think Freddy Got Fingered is hilarious still and farts. Gotta love my farts. If anything they were your gateways band to arguably better stuff, and like I said before, growing up and changing views is a way of life, but NOFX is still pretty awesome if you suspend your maturity and indulge in something that makes life feel simpler. Like that simple time when you were 14 and played video games, drank Mountain Dew and genuinely didn't give a fuck cause you were young enough that you didn't have to. NOFX rules.
I had a lot more written and it started to ramble worse than this, so there you go.
Part 3 whenever I feel like it. I think I'm going to write about the pros of law enforcement.
