I will post damn near anything for local bands who want to get their music out there, so email me at:


Include a link to your shit and don't be a fag, you fucking faggot. Eat a dick. Lick on these testicles. I wanna anally inseminate Miles Ellerbeck (this will probably be here a year or two before he sees it...Love you bro). Also open yourself up to constructive criticism. I'll bluntly tell you it sucks and give the world a link to see just how bad it sucks. I am mimicking the stream of conscious asshole blogger speech now. Fuck you and eat several more dicks.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Dead Fucking Last-Proud To Be

DFL, or Dead Fucking Last plays sloppy hardcore punk and was quite surprisingly released by Epitaph Records in the middle of the fucking 90s while they were riding the wave of melodic quasi-hardcore that MTV had a hard on for at the time. No traces of Bad Religion, Offspring, NOFX, or Rancid is found here. This is straight in your face, slam dance ready chaos that should be played at high volume in your grandmother's presence...Preferably during a heartwarming family outing, like a funeral or a Bris. This was produced by Adam Horovitz of the Beastie Boys and it has a certain Beastie aesthetic to it if you're aware of their hardcore punk output and that they started off as a hardcore punk band who worshiped the Bad Brains. This is definitely something you should listen to. Enjoy!

Dead Fucking Last-Proud To Be:

1. Proud To Be DFL
2. Word Of Mouth
3. Lost Cause
4. Return Of The Knucklehead
5. Mr. Popular
6. Function At The Center
7. Home Is Where The Heart Is
8. Hit The Floor
9. Club Stupid
10. Minus Adam
11. Better Off Dead
12. S.B.C.G.
13. Free Haircut
14. Society's Pressure
15. Self Pity
16. Action Everybody
17. Sourpuss
18. Insane Authority
19. Good Cop, Bad Cop
20. What's The Difference

Dead Boys-Young, Loud And Snotty

Dead Boys-Young, Loud And Snotty:

1. Sonic Reducer
2. All This And More
3. What Love Is
4. Ain't Nothin' To Do
5. Caught With The Meat In Your Mouth
6. Hey Little Girl
7. I Need Lunch
8. High Tension Wire
9. Down In Flames
10. Not Anymore/Ain't Nothin' To Do [Medley]
11. Not Anymore/Ain't Nothin' To Do [Medley]

26 Beers-26 Beers

Killer crossover thrash from Boston, Massachusetts! This shit is beyond fucking awesome!

26 Beers-26 Beers:

1. 27 Beers
2. Hit The Marc
3. Drink More Beer
4. Genocide
5. Fight The World
6. Slap
7. Dermaine (Two-Step 'N Thrash)
8. The Time Has Come
9. Deathwish
10. How To Make A Little Girl Cry Twice
11. The Mexican Drinking Song
12. Nobody's Safe

88 Fingers Louie-88 Fingers Up Your Ass

88 Fingers Louie-88 Fingers Up Your Ass:

1. Past Mistakes
2. Ritter
3. In Your Eyes
4. Try It Again (Circle Jerks Cover)
5. Won't Stay Late
6. Vera
7. Too Many
8. Irreparable Damage
9. Call It A Night
10. Run On Home
11. Victim In Pain (Agnostic Front Cover)
12. New Direction (Gorilla Biscuits Cover)
13. Funny Look
14. Emotions
15. Call It A Night
16. State Of Confusion
17. Hard To Believe
18. Not Just My Head
19. My Fathers Dreams
20. All I Want for Christmas
21. I Hate Myself
22. Can't Get Up The Nerve
23. Apart At The Seams
24. Inside Myself
25. In The John [Live]
26. Something I Don't Know [Live]
27. Too Many [Live]

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Hellfire Trigger Re-Up

It has come to my attention that one of my earliest posts needs to be re-uploaded, so here is Hellfire Trigger, a now defunct (or apparently not?) hardcore band out of North San Diego County. These guys rule(d), they would always come play shows in the High Desert with Dirtbag and Spitting On Cops. Here's their two releases, both on Brain Constipation Records, "Stand Up" and "Sent Down To Burn" on one .RAR for your enjoyment. I loved these guys an I had the many a conversation with them back in the day. Really really nice guys. Click on the live photo to download. Enjoy!

The Unseen Discography

Here's the complete LP discography of the Unseen. EPs are not included, but what is, is the Complete Singles Collection compilation. That pretty much covers it. Click on the album cover to download. Enjoy!

And I just found these...Here are three B-Sides released exclusively through Myspace back in 2006. They are "Act The Part", "Live In Fear 2006" and their cover of "Rise Above", originally by Black Flag...Enjoy!

Agnostic Front-My Life, My Way

Yes, it sucks, but judge for yourself. Click the album cover to download. Don't feel like making a track list, but the tracks are properly labeled.

Vortex-Thrash Is Alive

Vortex fail to innovate, but "Thrash Is Alive" is further proof that thrash metal is and always will be alive and well. I'd be 100% totally knocked out of my seat if this genre fades into obscurity again. This demo from this Croatian group came out in 2009. I don't know of any further releases by these guys. If anyone does, point me in the right direction...I really want to hear more from this band! Enjoy!

Vortex-Thrash Is Alive:

1. Death Trap
2. Between The Lines
3. Thrash Is Alive
4. Bonebreaker
5. No Way Out
6. Thrash Metal Holocaust
7. Running Killing
8. Arise On The Streets

Cancer Bats-Bears, Mayors, Scraps & Bones

Canada's Cancer Bats play an innovative style of hardcore punk with elements of the Southern Sludge style. It's different than a lot of the hardcore coming out these days, as I hear almost equal amounts of later era Black Flag and Black Sabbath represented by the band. It's a hard driving and sludgy onslaught of oftentimes anti-melodic cacophony. Check it out. Enjoy!

Cancer Bats-Bears, Mayors, Scraps & Bones:

1. Sleep This Away
2. Trust No One
3. Dead Wrong
4. Doomed To Fail
5. Black Metal Bicycle
6. We Are The Undead
7. Scared To Death
8. Darkness
9. Snake Mountain
10. Make Amends
11. Fake Gold
12. Drive This Stake
13. Raised Right
14. Sabotage (Beastie Boys Cover)

De La Soul-3 Feet High And Rising

De La Soul-3 Feet High And Rising:

1. Intro
2. The Magic Number
3. Change In Speak
4. Cool Breeze On The Rocks
5. Can You Keep A Secret?
6. Jenifa Taught Me (Derwin's Revenge)
7. Ghetto Thang
8. Transmitting Live From Mars
9. Eye Know
10. Take It Off
11. A Little Bit Of Soap
12. Tread Water
13. Say No Go
14. Do As De La Does
15. Plug Tunin' (Last Chance To Comprehend)
16. De La Orgee
17. Buddy (With Jungle Brothers And Q Tip)
18. Description
19. Me, Myself And I
20. This Is A Recording 4 Living In A Fulltime Era (L.I.F.E.)
21. I Can Do Anything (Delacratic)
22. D.A.I.S.Y. Age
23. Plug Tunin' (Original 12" Version)
24. Potholes In My Lawn

Andrew W.K.-I Get Wet

Probably one of my favorite album covers of all time. Andrew W.K. plays a form of party rock that incorporates heavy metal, hard rock and punk rock influences with some piano and keyboard that adds another layer of depth to the sound. It's pretty fucking good. I threw in the re-recorded version of "We Want Fun" from the Jackass soundtrack as an added bonus...Enjoy!

Andrew W.K.-I Get Wet:

1. It's Time To Party
2. Party Hard
3. Girls Own Love
4. Ready To Die
5. Take It Off
6. I Love NYC
7. She Is Beautiful
8. Party Til You Puke
9. Fun Night
10. Got To Do It
11. I Get Wet
12. Don't Stop Living In The Red

Bonus-We Want Fun (Jackass: The Movie Soundtrack)

Movie Review: Clerks...37 Dicks And Still Counting...

I haven't done a movie review in over a year and I wish to do more of these. I'm just really lazy. Seeing how this blog has months between updates and updates tend to come in clusters, I need to get on top of things...Here's my review of Clerks, one of my all time favorite movies...

37 dicks. That's right. When I was younger (I'm only 22 right now), running into a girl who you knew had performed fellatio on that many men was a blessing in disguise. You knew, that without a doubt, you were walking away a happy camper having had your penis loved on by the taste buds of the lady of the nearest lake. I saw this movie when I was 13 or 14 and to be honest, it only really made the impact on me later in my life. 37 dicks is something I certainly wouldn't aspire to if I were a female and now, as a male in my early 20s, I ran the risk of contracting some serious STDs in my more promiscuous days. It's a turn off now. And to state the obvious, being in a committed relationship is enough to turn you away from sluts...Not to degrade women in any sort of way, there are just some out there that are walking receptacles for infected semen. Now, a woman should be proud of her sexuality. This isn't the 50s mindset anywhere, but I'll stop simultaneously preaching misogyny and feminism for the sake of completing this review...And even I after proof reading that, do not understand what point I was attempting to make...The Japanese need to make a Clerks tentacle porn with a beast of 37 dicks. I'd watch the shit out of that and I absolutely hate anime and hentai. Fuck it...Balls...Shit...FUCK...

This movie did break new ground in that it is almost entirely dialogue. Nothing really happens that isn't a result of the movie's vivid explicit spectacle of speech. It's a lot of weed, dick and fart jokes and solidified Kevin Smith's career as the sole purveyor of weed, dick and fart joke in a seemingly intelligent way. His vocabulary is his strong suit and the delivery of some of these jokes includes such examples of uncommon lexicon that a having a lexicon handy is the only way some of the humor can be grasped in layman's terms. Don't expect to get get everything in your first viewing. It takes several to truly extract every last laugh from the flick.

The story is basically about two guys at two businesses owned by the same mysterious boss who talk...A lot...Most of these discussions have absolutely nothing to do with the actual plot. Something about 37 dicks...Something else about playing hockey on the roof of the convenience store and something about fucking. And BERZERKER! Figuring out the plot is a daunting task in itself because you're constantly sucked into the film's irrelevant dialogue. Plot twists? Nah, well maybe if you count a girl fucking a dead guy in the bathroom due to a case of mistaken identity...

You see, some, in not most of the funniest moments are the crudest. For example, when Randal reads off the porno movie titles in front of the mother and her young daughter without a care in the world. He's not oblivious to their presence, he just flat out does not give a flying fucking fuck. Let's take a look at the main characters for a moment. Dante is a little whining bitch who got called in on his day off. I flat out don't really like him, because he's pretty much a bitch. The character is supposed to represent Kevin Smith in his youth, which leads me to the conclusion that Kevin Smith is a whiny bitch...And a fat whiny bitch at that, who bitches cause he had to buy two plane tickets to properly seat his gargantuan ass...In fact, I hate the Dante character so much, had the original ending been included, the film would have worked excellently as a tragedy for someone who almost cannot be sympathized with. Maybe tragedy isn't the term I'm looking for...Maybe his death would have summarized the previous generation's complacency in the world. Although it wouldn't have been the gunman's motive (which is theft), I'd interpret the shooting as having been a mercy killing. Dante is so self absorbed and miserable, I'm sure he would have welcomed his demise with arms wide open. Maybe that was Mr. Smith's original intent, but those test screenings are certainly a bitch and a half...And maybe then we wouldn't have the travesty that is Clerks 2 if Dante had died, seeing how he is essentially focal point of the movie. Maybe they could have made "Clerk: A Sequel To Clerks" starring the best part of the movie, Randal Fucking Graves!

Randal is awesome. Randal is king! Randal makes the movie...Who the fuck thinks of the independent contractors on the uncompleted second Death Star? Randal does! He is the true genius of the movie. And we also have Jay and Silent Bob making their debut, although their role is minimal in comparison to their later outings. They are relegated to a bunch of one-liners. That honestly does make the movie that much better. We can argue about whether their expanded roles in future Kevin Smith movies added to them at, but hell, they at least got their own swear-fest out of it.

What this movie did for me was to expand on penchant for conversation. I now regularly throw words into my speech that tend to throw people off and give of an aura of intelligence that has yet to be proven real or false by myself or anyone else that I have attempted to fool. I have the talent of bullshiting my way through conversation and I have this movie to thank for that. I constantly will steer the topic towards simultaneously inane and insane topics that don't matter in the grand scheme of things, or happen to even be relevant to my existence.

Clerks 2 was shit. It killed the spirit of the first film and was basically a re-hash of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back mixed with a little bit of the magic that made Clerks what it is. Clerks is a great film, it really is. You will fail if you even attempt to try to recreate that. And even the father of this great film, Kevin Smith himself, couldn't do that. You can't fuck with this movie. You just can't. It's been a good 4 years since I last watched it. I love it, but maybe I've seen it too many times. I can't even count. So fuck it. If you haven't seen it, then you need to. I highly recommend watching the original cut included on the Clerks X DVD set. It's better than the final product, albeit a rough and unfinished version.

What did Clerks contribute to society? Nothing really. It's all about 90 minutes of entertainment. But there's one thing that stands out...I always end up in a conversation with whomever my current girlfriend is at the time about the men (or women) they've slept with. It always goes that way. This conversation is inevitable. Particularly "how many"...I always reply "In a row". And if she asks you first, you answer and that's her reply, you have found yourself a keeper. That's Clerks' contribution to society...A dick joke that never gets old.

Zeke-Death Alley

Zeke is Zeke. Not any other band really quite like them, except for Motörhead. Zeke is Motörhead on crack, whereas Motörhead was already rock 'n' roll on speed, so I can come to the conclusion that this band is fast and they're cranked up on methamphetamines and cocaine derivatives. Did I mention already that this band is really fucking fast, but also musically tight. Tighter than the majority of bands out there, including the most metalest of the bunch. This is faster than shit Motörhead worship with a punk aesthetic and approach and it's fucking tight to, if I haven't already mentioned that. It's tighter than a virgin's un-invaded vaginal cavern waiting for daring spelunkers to infiltrate and lay claim to being the first to ever investigate. It's also tighter than an asshole that hasn't been massaged to accommodate a fleshy, cylindrical appendage that squirts salty, warm, expired milk when total utter happiness has been achieved. It's also way tighter than you, because you suck. So fuck you. And finally, Enjoy!

Zeke-Death Alley:

1. Crossroads
2. Live Wire
3. Jack Tolerance
4. Evil Dead
5. Arkansas Man
6. Shockwaves
7. Mountain Man
8. Evil Woman
9. The River
10. Night Rider
11. Into The Night
12. On The Run
13. Animal
14. Road Ahead
15. Eyes Of Satan
16. Death Alley

Fuck On The Beach-I Have Never Seen Myself

Power-Violence...Almost the same fucking thing as thrashcore and a less metal variant of grind, which is a metal-ish variant itself of thrashcore, hardcore and power-violence. Which came first? The chicken or the egg? I don't know exactly where I'm going with this one and if I had a point, it was certainly lost in my head...Somewhere...Ok, the point is FUCK THE CHICKEN AND FUCK THE EGG! Was it the Sex Pistols in England or the Ramones in America? Who cares who started it? It's fucking music...Music?? I almost cannot think of a genre short of noise "music" that is more anti-musical that power-violence...POWER-MOTHER-FUCKING-VIOLENCE...It kills...Fuck On The Beach more or less makes me want to fuck on the beach, and fuck myself up on the beach. I remember being on Chat-Roulette because of my friend B-Rad (who knows what he was doing on that site), beating myself up, while people beat themselves off...Probably to my self beating, which I'm quite good at. I'm almost positive I gave myself a concussion that night. I'm definitely deficient the brain cells these days. Possibly due to that incident. And it was all for the benefit of some sicko across the country getting his rocks off. I felt dirty, used and abused...I'm your slut...And for whatever reason I think of violent sounding hardcore punk when I'm participating in illicit sexual favors for random people...Maybe you will to. Enjoy!

Fuck On The Beach-I Have Never Seen Myself

1. I Have Never Seen Myself
2. Too Sad To Be Alone
3. No Jealousy
4. Betrayed Again
5. Suddenly Insert
6. Where Do You Work?
7. Don't Call Out
8. Tried My Life
9. Broken Black Hole
10. Innocent Yourself
11. All The World
12. Fuck On The Beach
13. Vandalize
14. Hate Myself
15. Something I Don't Want To Know

Kottonmouth Kings-Sunrise Sessions

People ask me all the time if I am a bro. No, not the Midwest or East Coast variety of douchebag, but the Southern California dirtbike riding, black sock wearing, SRH reppin' kind. My listening choices include the Kottonmouth Kings (and other Subnoize acts), I ride a dirtbike, I drive a Ranger prerunner wannabe truck, I'm an asshole, I have a collection of flat-bill hats...So I guess I am a bro. Or a brunk rocker. Yup, Up the Brunx! hahaha.

I love the Kottonmouth Kings. I do. You can research their history a little bit and find out that Brad Xavier was in the O.C. Hardcore band Doggy Style at one time, but most judge off face value. This is their latest record, "Sunrise Sessions", which is more or less, a substantially more mature output from the "smoke weed, drink, ride dirtbikes" sound of their previous records. This is a actually a laid back, mellow, reggae-tinged collection of stoner rhymes. It's quite fucking good. Here we find the crew stripping away most, if not all of the punk rock and club anthems for a more coherent and concise collection of tracks.

This is their second album with the Dirtball, who's speed rap style fits this style rather well. The Kottonmouth Kings' other experiments with a reggae style, namely select tracks off of "Royal Highness" were better and musically more reggae than hip-hop, but still, this is a style they should stick with. The club anthems have more or less been spun off into Kingspade and the punk rock is going on in the X-Pistols, two side projects that have their own individual merits and are worthy of a look.

If this is your thing, then check it out. Enjoy!

Kottonmouth Kings-Sunrise Sessions

1. Stonetown
2. Love Lost
3. Down 4 Life (Feat. Jared Of Hed P.E.)
4. Kalifornia
5. My Garden
6. Boom Clap Sound
7. Back Home
8. She's Dangerous
9. Ganja Daze
10. Stay Stoned
11. Stoned Silly
12. Closing Time
13. Cruzin'
14. Great To Be Alive
15. Be Alright
16. Said And Done

Arson Anthem-Insecurity Notoriety

I am a complete and total fucking hypocrite. I post a huge and somewhat anti-illegal downloading rant a few months back and promptly abandon this blog. Well, I'm over it. I really love illegal downloads. This is how I get 95% of my music nowadays and it has effectively killed the music industry to some extent. So, what's to hate about it? Nothing. Love it. It's killing the rabid dinosaur of an RIAA and it will eventually leave bands to focus on making good music and performing said good music to a live audience, where they can buy tickets and t-shirts at an over inflated price...Almost 100 dollars to go see Danzig with Doyle and original members of Samhain as Danzig Legacy...You see what I mean? These artists will make their money. I bet a t-shirt will be 30 bucks at least...Way to get ahead in a down economy, so fuck it...Simple as that.

Now let me get to this post. Here is Arson Anthem. Crusty hardcore from Phil Anselmo, Hank 3, and Mike Williams. Looking at the names here, this is an obvious supergroup. I don't really listen to Eyehategod, so I can't compare this Mike Williams' claim to underground street cred. Hell, I don't even listen to all that much sludge metal...Except for some Amebix, if you wanna call them that and some stoner sludge, like Bongzilla and Weedeater. But, he's got a raspy voice that suits this old school hardcore throwback nicely....

This ain't no country music either, but Hank Tres is in the band. It doesn't even sound like Assjack, which is admittedly more metal. And frequent Hank 3 collaborator, Phil Anselmo is in the band as well. This ain't Pantera or Superjoint Ritual either. Probably for the best to. As much as I hate admitting I like Pantera a lot, this would suck ass if it sounded like that at all. Pantera is dead and left in it's wake a zillion nu-metal bands, something people call hardcore, and angry macho men fat kids with zits who fuck up moshpits worldwide, so it's kinda a good thing.

What we have here is a little throwback to a time that time itself forgot. HARDCORE! Real fucking fast as shit hardcore punk that pulverizes bunnies in a Gallagher fashion. Don't forget your pancho! Ear plugs are a neccessity for people under 48" tall and those with a heart condition. This is the shit...Plain and simple. I love the shit out of this record. I would give it a ZER if I was the all-mighty ZER, but hell I'm not...So I give it a DER. Enjoy!

Arson Anthem-Insecurity Notoriety

1. Naught
2. Foul Pride
3. Isolation Militia
4. More Than One War
5. Insecurity Notoriety
6. Pretty Like That
7. Initial Prick
8. Crippled Life
9. Polite Society Blacklist
10. If You Heard This You Would Hit Me
11. Hands Off Approach
12. Has Been/Had Been
13. Primate Envy
14. Death Of An Idiot
15. Co-Dependent And Busted
16. Kleptomania
17. Teach The Gun (To Love The Bullet)