Video Game Review: Need For Speed: Shift

Two words: Digitized crack

I am not an avid gamer...In fact, I only play new games every once in a fucking while, when the mood strikes me. Having loved most of the recent Need For Speed games, seeing this game at Best Buy triggered my lust for driving fast without actually doing it. I had some extra money to waste...So I did...

And I am utterly surprised...

This is almost a Gran Turismo or Forza killer (I still regard GT 2 on PS1 to be the best racing game ever). The only thing that handicaps it however, is that there are no where near enough cars to blow either title out of the water. There are some cool cars, yes, but I do like quantity every once in a while...Since I'm bitching about the lack of cars, what happened to all of the classic muscle cars, and why isn't there a 1st (or even 2nd) generation DSM? Fuck that...

Aside from that, we are treated to a game that offers the most realistic driving experience that doesn't suck. It's realistic in the right places, yet still arcadey enough for casual gamers to enjoy. The game begs to be played exclusively in the cockpit camera angle (I am usually a third-person type guy). The inside car view makes you feel like you're actually driving the fucking car. The exhaust note reverberates inside, which gives you the feeling of driving an over $100,000 car with another $200,000 in go-fast goodies. If you hit the wall, it feels like you hit the wall. The mechanics here contribute to a fun factor usually only reserved for Grand Theft Auto titles. Instead of wandering Liberty City, ethnically cleansing the streets of the obese Caucasian policemen that randomly spawn out of thin air when you so happen to "accidentally" let off a few rounds into the back of someone's head, I am racing the game's tracks over and over again and not getting bored...Which is hard for a game to do, especially when you have the attention span of a dirty asshole begging to get fucked. That's just nasty. But, like I said earlier, two words: Digitized crack.

The graphics are top-notch...I play a 360 on a thrift store TV and it still looks good. That, I guess, is the benefit of the 360. The PS3 needs all this high-definition bullshit to look decent, while the 360 is much kinder to those who don't have enough money to buy a fucking $500 television that supports HD and 1080p crap. I'm old school, although only 21. Give me convenience, or give me a fucking boner...And it don't have to be in no HD...What's to say about a society where seeing everything better than real life is valued? Do you really need to know that your favorite porn star doesn't know how to wipe her asshole properly? There are just some things I will never get. I guess we are all spoiled ever since Toy Story came out...And even that's back...In 3D...Fuck...Back on topic...The graphics do kick ass though. I like games that look and play good, and this is one of them.

The customization aspect is back and it is fun, but it doesn't feel anywhere as deep as anything pre-Carbon. It's better than the extremely stripped down one from that poor excuse for a game called Undercover, yet not as deep as Pro-Street was. It lacks, but it's still enjoyable. Hell, maybe I just like tweaking my in-game whip. It's nice to fantasize about owning cars you'll never own, except digitally, or in 1/24 scale. If I had a million dollars, I'd have a 1970 Chevelle SS454...Wait a second...I don't have a million dollars to buy an extremely rare muscle car with an extremely rare option at an extremely high price, so I'll settle on the one in the game...Wait another second...There is no 1970 Chevelle SS454 in the game...Fuck...I guess I'll just settle on my real-life 1992 VW Golf GTi that only has the 1.8 8v motor, and not the desired 16v or even a VR6 swap...Fuck, I need money...

And now I will conclude my review...After I type the word "fuck" again...Twice...

Fuck

Fuck...And once more, in all CAPS...FUCK...And now the close...

I am hooked on this game like hooked on phonics and high grade hydroponics. It's fun. That's all that should matter. If you like racing games, buy this shit and play it until your Xbox comes down with red-ring of death syndrome. If you don't like racing games, then play that new Halo ODST game I keep hearing about...For all those with a Wii: It must suck to be you.

K.I.L.-Time For Revolution

Here's a badass band that you should listen to and then go see and then buy their record...

Here's what their bio says on Interpunk:

"We are a punk/ska band out the ashes of the slums of Victorville CA. we are against everything that blocks out our ability to think for our selves (including cops....)We have been playing shows for about 2 years and have played with bands like The Adicts, Tsol, Smut Peddlers,Agent Orange, ect.we have songs about drinkin, fightin, and the never ending battle to kill the people that hold ya down."

K.I.L. kicks ass. Check them out and always...Enjoy!

K.I.L.-Time For Revolution:

1. Army Trucks
2. American Dream
3. Drinking Beer
4. Dropout
5. Loaded Gun
6. Mohawk Revolution
7. The Underground
8. 8 To 80
9. Killdozer
10. Last Call
11. Through Today
12. 9 Month Ride Home
13. Outro

Download

Looking For A Couple Of Contributors...

Mainly because I don't have the time like I once did to make constant posts...So basically, if you think you have something to bring to the table, hit me up at my email address, which is zacharyfelmly@yahoo.com, or just leave me a comment with your email.

You don't have to possess decent writing skills, so long as you know how to make it sound like you know what you're talking about. The only requirements are that you use Mediafire and have a blogger account. You can write about anything to, so long as you post fucking music sometimes (like every time). That's it. Here's some music...

Kids Like Us-Outta Control

Kent Brockman-Crustcoreviolence EP

Kent Brockman is a defunct hardcore band from Germany, but if you really want to be a dick about it, then you could call them a defunct crust punk/power violence/grind band from Germany. That works, but I'm not gonna be dick about it today...It's fucking hardcore...Just really really fast hardcore. You could also just call it fucking good...

This album kicks ass...If you dig fast shit, then this is for you...Enjoy!

Kent Brockman-Crustcoreviolence EP:

1. Righteous Bastards
2. Zeichen Der Zeit
3. Not My Way
4. Verstand
5. Financial Wealth
6. Choice
7. A Fact You Cant Ignore
8. Smooth Talker
9. Still Not Punk Enough?
10. Four
11. Legal For Yourself
12. Not Even Better
13. Problems

Download

False Freedom-Molotov EP + Up Your Ass Tony EP

False Freedom is a punk band from Northern California (Sonora) that I have booked for shows on numerous occasions. The first time I met the band was at a show in Apple Valley years back and then I booked them for a house party at my place. That house party was the shit. I got insanely fucked up and their drummer Kell laid down my first ink. Unfortunately, I passed out...So I'm forever scarred with half the Battalion Of Saints logo on my upper right arm (which I refuse to finish or cover up, for memory's sake)...

My next experience with them was back in 2006, when I asked them to play a Battalion Of Saints show in Victorville at the Trilogy with Naked Aggression, Spitting On Cops, Dirtbag, and a shitload more (It was a 12+ hour show). Kell got into shit with the security guard and the guard chased him out to my truck. The guard threw a fucking boulder through my widow and kicked a dent into my truck when Kell jumped in. It was over some bullshit though and all Kell owes me is a tattoo the next time I see him...Just kidding...I still correspond with Bert, their bassist on occasion...But I have no idea as to the activity of the band.

The albums here, which I have no art for, were released on Stungun Records. Fuck, I'm not even sure the names of the albums...All I know, is that it's punk rock at it's finest...Raw, shitty and loud. Enjoy!

False Freedom-Molotov EP:

1. Molotov
2. Mr. Bones
3. Police 'B' Gone

False Freedom-Up Your Ass Tony EP:

1. Mr. Bones
2. The Fuzz/Dead Cities (Exploited Cover)
3. F.U.C.K.

Download both albums in one .RAR file

Moview Review: Suburbia

Since I reviewed SLC Punk last night, i might as well review that other punk movie.

Suburbia kicks ass cause it sucks. It is B-movie garbage with horrible acting, but it has qualities which I love in film...Any movie where a kid gets killed gets points from me. That classic moment aside, there's nothing much else to be had here, except for some pretty cool live performances (D.I., TSOL and The Vandals) and some laughably horrendous acting.

It is really cool though that director Spheeris decided to give the roles to real kids involved in the subculture instead of actors playing punks (except for one, I believe). This gives the film a certain authenticity that is usually only reserved for certain documentaries. "Suburbia" is the only narrative film that could really be called a true punk movie...

Any way you look at it though, this is a bad and sadly broken film, although I wasn't expecting any greatness or "oh my gawd!" effect. It's just bad for all the good reasons and is certainly a film that I can go back to again and again for years to come.

On another note, Rob Rotten's pseudo-remake porn entitled "Little Runaway" is actually a better movie. And not just because of the nudity and hardcore whoopee. The acting is better. Seriously, it is. Anyways...

"Suburbia" is a good bad movie. I highly recommend it.

More music posts coming soon.

Movie Review: SLC Punk

I've seen this film once before...When I was 16. It was good then. Now, I'm 21 and I decided to relive a film that had some bearing on the development of who I am today...

Maybe I avoided this film again because of the obvious stigma this movie holds in the punk community. Most view it as a piece of shit. Maybe it is, but only if you really want to call it a "punk" movie. It's basically an 80s teen comedy set in punk land. There's nothing wrong with 80s teen comedy's (John Hughes was the shit...RIP), but the movie should not be taken as a guideline for impressionable youths trying to defy social norms by dressing trendy with all the sheep. It works as what I said it works as. Anything else however, it fails miserably...

It's basically a 90 minute long introduction. The film is basically "Hey, I'm a punk and I believe in anarchy" and "Now that you know that, here's my friends, who are mostly punks and believe in anarchy as well"...And the film even calls anarchy a "system of government", when it's clearly just "no government", followed by personal opinion whether you talk to a crusty or a chaos punk about it...The film fails in that there really isn't a plot type plot. It just presents things as they are in Salt Lake City and babbles on for fucking ever...And if there is a plot, it's hidden good as fuck, because you're distracted every other minute by some stupid flashback (some of which are funny) or a pointless rant by Shaggy. It fucking blows. It kinda works like a pilot episode, in that they set up and introduce for the whole run time...What's sad is that this also wouldn't work as a pilot, cause they kill off the only character that's likable (Heroin Bob).

It ends on too much of a downer. Someone always dies in these punk movies. It's like the kid in Suburbia, except that part was funny. This movie loses it's humor and get's all up it's ass in the third act. Fuck that. Make me laugh for fuck's sake. It's a fucking comedy. But still, my biggest gripe is that they don't kill off Shaggy...

Fuckin' Shaggy lives, but the lovable Travis Bickle look alike doesn't? What the fucking fuck!

And then there's the ending, after Bob dies...

The motherfucker becomes a lawyer? Shaggy is gonna fuckin' decide shit in court? Maybe the message is "grow the fuck up and get a job"...And I kinda like that message now that I think about it. This movie says more against punk than it does for it. So, the next time some 16 year old kid at Hot Topic buys it, I hope he or she gets the fucking message. Stop fucking dressing like a clown and get a god damned job you fucking waste of life. I hope you get aids and die. Thank Joe Pesci for this movie.

The movie would of been good if Heroin Bob were the lead character. Matthew Lillard is unlikeable in every movie I've seen him in. You feel no compassion for his character whatsoever. You feel bad for Bob and that's about it. Fuck this film.

Emergency Hour-The Children's Hour

I really hate the majority of what comes through my email. Some of the shit is so god awful bad that it makes Limp Bizkit sound like a viable listening option. Thankfully, these guys are only half bad. These guys are called Emergency Hour and hail from Albuquerque, New Mexico. They have been making tune-age since they were in 8th grade and have been around for a few years now. There are elements of both punk rock and early hardcore to be found here...

In all honesty, they remind me of all those obscure musically talented hardcore punk bands from Bumfuck nowhere that only released one or two EPs or LPs (that can be found on some of those other blogs) and then abruptly drifted off into the abyss. There is something to be said about all of those hardcore gems that circulate the internet...And that is that most of them suck, but some are still great. I find this to be somewhere in the upper middle to higher end, you know...Half bad, but still kinda fucking really good...The vocals kind of turned me off a bit at first, but they grew on me, kinda like a tumor or Bob Saget does. Hell, I can find fault with everything though, except for maybe food, cause I'm fat. So, I am recommending it. It's punk rock, in all it's shit-tasticly good glory. I like it...So, enjoy!

To the band: If you're ever in California, I'll book you guys a show with my band.

Emergency Ahead-The Children's Hour:

1. Digital Age
2. Testing
3. Bomb In The School
4. Over There
5. Self Destruct
6. Run Away
7. Eat The Fetus
9. Insignificant
10. No Mind
11. Puking Up The Pieces
12. Emergency Ahead

Download

Doggy Style-Side By Side

For those who don't know the history (This link is pretty useful), Doggy Style is Daddy X from the Kottonmouth Kings' first band. Putting that entirely aside, they fucking kicked ass. This is what you'd call O.C. skate punk that knows how to have a good time...Very fun and energetic, but not really pissed off. Enjoy!

Doggy Style-Side By Side:

1. Be Strong
2. Side By Side
3. Still Hope
4. Nympho
5. Straight
6. Bite The Bone
7. Donut Shop Rock
8. Enough
9. Ladies From Neptune
10. Rookie Cop
11. Denial
12. Skate Party
13. Do It Doggy Style

Download

Just Buzzed-Demo

Just Buzzed is my friend Taylor's new band. They play fast paced hardcore punk are actually quite good at playing their instruments...I saw them last night at the Karma in Victorville. In all honesty, the recordings here suck and are not a proper representation of the band, but at least will get you by until they release a real record, which I will post here for free, thus fucking them out any profit. Yes, I would do that to my friends. I am a bastard. Now, download these motherfuckers and enjoy!

Click their logo to download:

Lard-Pure Chewing Satisfaction

Lard is basically Jello Biafra (Dead Kennedys) and Al Jourgensen (Ministry), with various other members of Ministry, playing a hybrid of Industrial, Hardcore and Metal. If you're in the mood for something different, check this out. Enjoy!

Lard-Pure Chewing Satisfaction:

1. War Pimp Renaissance
2. I Wanna Be A Drug Sniffing Dog
3. Moths
4. Generation Execute
5. Faith, Hope And Treachery
6. Peeling Back The Foreskin Of Liberty
7. Mangoat
8. Sidewinder

Download

Bad Religion-How Could Hell Be Any Worse?

Bad Religion's remastered version of "How Could Hell Be Any Worse?" is basically a remastered version of "80-85"...This is basically everything released during that period except for their progressive rock piece of shit, "Into The Unknown" (which has been purposely out of print since it's release). It includes "How Could Hell Be Any Worse?", the "Bad Religion" EP, the "Back To The Known" EP and Bad Religion's three tracks from the "Public Service" compilation released on Smoke 7 Records in 1981 (Re-issued in 2003 on Puke & Vomit Records).

It's worth noting that the band doesn't really sound like Bad Religion until the "Back To The Known" EP (Tracks 21-25), where Graffin adopts his signature vocal sound...You can't hear any hints of "Suffer" or "No Control" really on anything except for that. The rest is your standard, yelled-vocal, fast as fuck hardcore punk with very little melodic sensibility when lined up to their later material. Sure, there is some pop-sensibility...Certainly more so than other bands of the time...One other thing that could be said though, is that the songs don't all sound alike. I mean, for hardcore punk that is...They hadn't yet fallen into the whole "Bad Religion" trap where everything sounds the fucking same...Either way, they were and still are, a great band. This is a great record. Enjoy!

Bad Religion-How Could Hell Be Any Worse?:

1. We're Only Gonna Die For Our Arrogance
2. Latch Key Kids
3. Part 3
4. Faith In God
5. Fuck Armageddon...This Is Hell
6. Pitty
7. In The Night
8. Damned To Be Free
9. White Trash (Second Generation)
10. American Dream
11. Eat Your Dog
12. Voice Of God Is Government
13. Oligarchy
14. Doing Time
15. Bad Religion
16. Politics
17. Sensory Overload
18. Slaves
19. Drastic Actions
20. World War 3
21. Yesterday
22. Frogger
23. Bad Religion
24. Along The Way
25. New Leaf
26. Bad Religion
27. Slaves
28. Drastic Actions

Download

Agression-Agression

To be honest, Agression's self-titled record doesn't hold nearly as much of a special place in my heart as "Don't Be Mistaken" does...That doesn't mean it's a bad record in my eyes, it's just not as good. I'm sure that there'll be some asshole who comments and says "You don't know what you're talking about" and "Your blog sucks ass"...Hell, I readily admit that my blog does in fact, suck ass, but I have my opinions and opinions are like assholes in that everyone has one. Let's say, this is more rock than punk rock, but still punk as fuck and a bit more technical...It's fucking badass, just not as classic as "Don't Be Mistaken". I just have a hard on for Nardcore and Skate punk bands, so I like. What's even worse though, is that before posting this, I hadn't heard any of this record since 2006...I liked it more then. Enjoy!

Agression-Agression:

1. Rich Kids
2. Dear John Letter
3. I'm Alive
4. Salty Leather
5. The Keeper
6. Guillotine
7. Go To War
8. Voo Doo Stew
9. Watching You
10. Never Alone
11. Foxy Lady
12. Drunk On Your Love
13. Ripped Off

Download

Buy their "Best Of" record here

Revolution Mother-Glory Bound

I saw these guys open for Social Distortion about a year and a half back. They stole the show. Revolution Mother is Mike Vallely's second music venture, the prior being Mike V. & The Rats. Revolution Mother pretty much blows The Rats out of the water and fucks them with an icepick. Musically, they sound like what the mid-80s Black Flag should of sounded like, or maybe even a slowed down version of Zeke. Basically, it's hard driving metal-tinged punk rock that is primarily played at a not too fucking fast tempo, but still never looses any of it's energy. It's fucking good. You should download it...Enjoy!

Revolution Mother-Glory Bound:

1. Come On
2. Above The Crawl
3. Switchblades & Urethane
4. Bullet
5. Burning From The Inside
6. Do Or Die
7. The Real Deal
8. The Accuser
9. Hole In The Sky
10. Who I Am
11. Roll Tonight

Download

NOFX-S&M Airlines

NOFX-S&M Airlines:

1. Day To Daze
2. Five Feet Under
3. Professional Castration
4. Mean People Suck
5. Vanilla Sex
6. S&M Airlines
7. Drug Free America
8. Life O'Riley
9. You Drink You Drive You Spill
10. Scream For Change
11. Jaundiced Eye
12. Go Your Own Way

Download

NOFX-Liberal Animation

NOFX-Liberal Animation:

1. Shut Up Already
2. Freedumb
3. Here Comes The Neighborhood
4. A200 Club
5. Sloppy English
6. You Put Your Chocolate In My Peanut Butter
7. Mr. Jones
8. Vegetarian Mumbo Jumbo
9. Beer Bong
10. Piece
11. I Live In A Cake
12. No Problems
13. On The Rag
14. Truck Stop Blues

Download

Suicidal Tendencies-Prime Cuts

Suicidal Tendencies has always been one of the more musically polarizing bands. They have never truly conformed to one genre, and while they are rooted primarily in crossover thrash and hardcore, they do experiment with funk and some other shit from time to time. This doesn't really cause a major rift in their fan base, like the whole Danzig/Graves/"I like em both, but fuck Only" thing does for the Misfits, but there are the distinct camps of diehard Suicidal fans who like it all and then there's the "Hey, I like their hardcore albums, but everything else is ass" clique.

"Prime Cuts" is greatest hits of sorts, but it only includes the material made during their years on Epic, so expect it to be heavy on thrash and funk, while being light on punk. Even the songs from their first record are the re-recorded ones from "Still Cyco..." that sucks ass. Rest assured, there is something here for everyone. It's definitely worth a listen, but I seriously recommend sifting through their entire discography, as there are plenty of gems to be found...And yes, you will have to sit through some shit...Download this for a taste, then get on the other blogs or get a fucking torrent to get the rest (You could buy it?). I'm lazy and am not posting the rest out of fear of Mike Muir showing up at my house and kicking my ass. I figure they won't care too much on this one, cause this was an unauthorized release to begin with...Enjoy!

Suicidal Tendencies-Prime Cuts

1. You Can't Bring Me Down
2. Join the New Army
3. Lovely
4. Institutionalized
5. Gotta Kill Captain Stupid
6. Berserk
7. I Saw Your Mommy
8. Pledge Your Allegiance
9. Feeding the Addiction
10. I Wasn't Meant to Feel This/Asleep at the Wheel
11. Send Me Your Money
12. No Fuck'n Problem
13. Go Skate! (Possessed to Skate '97)
14. Nobody Hears
15. How Will I Laugh Tomorrow

Download

Yuppie Pricks-Broker's Banquet

If any reader has ever had the luxury of having XM Radio and ever listened to Channel 53 (Fungus), then you've more than likely already been introduced to The Yuppie Pricks. If you haven't, think everything hardcore punk has come to stand against made into hardcore punk songs. The band defies political correctness by pandering to the excessive nature of the right end of the political spectrum in a fiercely leftist punk world...This is a band that Patrick Bateman would surely enjoy...I am pretty much positive that it's all in good fun...Actually pretty much certain...They're on Alternative Tentacles for fuck's sake. So yeah...Enjoy!

Yuppie Pricks-Broker's Banquet:

1. Coke Party
2. Hummer In My Hummer
3. Mirror Mirror
4. Rich Bitch
5. Gonna Die Rich
6. Cherry Red
7. Day Spa
8. Boo-Fucking-Hoo
9. Black Tuesday
10. Paycheck
11. Prick For President
12. New Rolls
13. Damn It Feels Good To Be A Yuppie

Download

Fear

Click on the album cover to download:

Municipal Waste-Massive Aggressive

Is it better than Hazardous Mutation? No. Is it still a complete fucking blitz of uncompromising thrash? It's Municipal Waste. You get exactly what you'd expect...That being equal parts Slayer, D.R.I. and an inhuman amount of worship and respect for 80s era thrash and hardcore. It's fast and it made me cum in my pants by triggering that primeval auto-ejaculatory gland hidden with my asshole region called the prostate. It'll fuck you up and quite frankly, it'll leave you walking funny...Enjoy!

Municipal Waste-Massive Aggressive:

1. Masked By Delirium
2. Mech-Cannibal
3. Divine Blasphemer
4. Massive Aggressive
5. Wolves Of Chernobyl
6. Relentless Threat
7. The Wrath Of The Severed Head
8. Upside Down Church
9. Shredded Offering
10. Media Skeptic
11. Horny For Blood
12. Wrong Answer
13. Acid Sentence

Download